Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
