my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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