Got a toothbrush?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
