Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
