she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
