I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
