I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
