The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
