did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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