I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
