I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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