Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
