Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
