im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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