I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
