Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
