there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
