Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
