i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
