she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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