New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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