Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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