3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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