This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
