It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
