Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
