Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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