did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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