I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
