We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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