M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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