grandma shit on top of the toilet
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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