Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
