i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
