the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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