That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
