The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
