Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
