Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
