never play flip cup with pint glasses
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
