i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
