Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
