he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
His hands were made for my vagina.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
