i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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