i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize