did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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