Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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