Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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