Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
