I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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