Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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