they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
