Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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