Farmville is her only friend.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize