Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
