I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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