that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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