Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
