member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
