Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
