Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
