So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
