if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
