If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
