Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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