How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
