Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
