i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize