After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
