How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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