Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
