i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
