Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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